9 Reasons Y you’ll Never Find the Love of Your Life in Shanghai


Living in Shanghai might be one of your most exciting (and most confusing) experiences in life. This colorful crazy city gives you the chance of a fun and vivid social life and endless opportunities to meet new people (mostly when you are drunk). Also, it’s not that hard to get to know a guy (again, mostly when your are drunk)- definitely not as hard as back home - at least that’s what I find. Dating is a normal thing to do (although no one really knows what dating is supposed to look like these days…). You will eventually find a guy you really like - let’s say you meet each other at the Shangri La pool party - and you think the two of you would just be perfect for each other. But somehow you never end up having this amazing relationship you ever dreamed of / you always hear about. And here is why:

1. You are only here for a limited amount of time
Whether you get here as an exchange student, an intern, or postgraduate - you most likely won’t spend the rest of your life in this beautiful city and you will move to another place eventually. This seriously makes it hard when dating a guy -cause why getting all attached when you’ll move soon anyways? Long distance?! That stuff never really works out, let’s be real! Some of you probably even say “I’m definitely not looking for a bf right now“(And yet- deep inside you are!)

2. The perfect guy you meet is only here for a limited amount of time
Same thing - you are out with your girls, after two or three drinks at Dogtown you meet the man of your dreams and you start having the standard SH conversation: “So,what are you doing here in
Shanghai?“
“Oh, I’m [teaching/studying Chinese/funemployed]”
“Ahnice! And how long will you stay here for?“-
“I’ll leave in August”
“Oh…ok.“Chances you’ll make it any further than a hookup are near zero.

3. Men in Shanghai are just not looking for a girlfriend
From what I experienced, all single men in Shanghai seem to "just wanna have fuhuuuun". Being here is an adventure for them. Having a girlfriend would mean they would have to stop going out and flirting with beautiful girls from all over the world. No more spontaneous hook-ups at Hollywood (which got taken over by Lola anyways - maybe for the better?) or late night visits of Manhattan. The words "relationship" or "commitment" scare them to death, no kidding.

4. 80% are suffering from yellow fever
Let’s face it, the majority of men who come over to live in the ‘Hai are eventually attracted to Asian/ Chinese girls. Which is absolutely O.K. but also gives us western girls a harder time and sometimes leaves us wondering what this Chinese girl has, that attracts this beautiful beautiful man…Oh and of course there are tons of LBHs (loser back home, hope y’all know what kind of guy I’m talking about), but we don’t wanna hang out with them anyways…


5. The competition is real
Because Shanghai is home to so many foreign and even more beautiful Chinese women, men can easily get overwhelmed by the choices they get. The fact that almost every girl they meet can speak at least 3 languages fluently, has lived in 5 different countries and is smart and beautiful on top of that, makes it not very easy for them to settle. And don’t forget about the Russian models who are always stealing the show at fancy nightclubs…


6. You will never know if they are already in a relationship
I don’t know if this is only happening to me - but somehow I always find myself dating a guy only to realize that he has a girlfriend back home, is engaged or in an open relationship after we went on a couple of dates. It must be the Shanghai-vibe that makes them think they could just forget mentioning this little, tiny detail. Clearly these guys will never be your one and only.

7. Tinder is ruining it
Yes, you might meet a handsome, witty and smart guy on Tinder. But we all know what men (and also women) want to get out of this app. If you think you will find the love of your life by swiping to the right, I’d say - dream on! (I know, we’ve all heard the story from one of our friends which goes like: “I know this couple, they met on tinder and now they are getting married!!“) Still.


8. Yongkang Lu is just not the place
We all love to hang out on Yongkang Lu on a sunny Saturday afternoon/evening and watch the crowds (males) walking by. (Why is everyone there so ridiculously good looking?) But this street seems to turn into an offline tinder. Everyone is looking for a little fun, but that’s about it. Don’t fool yourself and think these guys never went to have drinks (and girls) there before.

9. Going out won’t get you anywhere
Yes, of course it’s fun going out every weekend and party till the sun is lighting your way home. And admit it, every time we go out we are hoping to meet an interesting guy. Most of the time we do and sometimes it even turns into texting and going on a real date after you both have seen each other wasted. But most of the time it ends with one of you ghosting - which is a whole different topic I’ll talk about next time.

Finding love in Shanghai is definitely not easy. But let me tell you: "…one of my friends, she knows this couple.. and they have met each other in M1NT! Been together for 5years now…" There’s hope people, there’s hope.

Key Words: Find love in Shanghai, True Love in China, Find love in Tinder

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